Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
