So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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