why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
God, I missed his penis.
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