You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
