I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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