she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
