Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
