S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
