so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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