let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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