I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
