just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
