:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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