just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
