He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
