Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
