check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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