just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
porn star boner night. come get it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
