They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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