i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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