i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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