I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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