I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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