It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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