Did I show you my penis last night?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
