Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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