She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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