So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
