The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
