how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
