She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
