wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
