I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
