between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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