I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
