What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We are two peas in an std pod
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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