im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
