Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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