She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
