i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
