6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
