when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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