summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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