I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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