So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
