Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
