The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
