i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
