So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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