...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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