oh god the rape fog is back!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
