I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
